You can have 1000 matches and feel lonely. You can be alone and feel at peace. Loneliness can arise even with a hundred friends, two hundred notifications and a thousand likes a day. The problem isn't... — From the Groundr blog, the #1 Grindr addiction blocker app.
🌙Loneliness vs Isolation: Understanding the Difference
You can have 1000 matches and feel lonely. You can be alone and feel at peace. Loneliness can arise even with a hundred friends, two hundred notifications and a thousand likes a day. The problem isn't being alone, it's feeling isolated.
The loneliness epidemic
In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy published a report calling loneliness a "public health epidemic", with consequences comparable to smoking in terms of premature mortality. Queer men are particularly affected: depression is twice as common among them, and loneliness is the primary reason for consultation at LGBTQI+ centers.
More contacts, less connection
The study by Winter et al. (2025) shows a significant link between problematic Grindr use and feelings of loneliness among MSM. A study on LGBTQ+ users in Southeastern Europe (MDPI, 2025) confirms that heavy users report a weaker sense of community and lower life satisfaction. Multiplying superficial contacts is not the solution to isolation, it can even make it worse.
Reconnecting with yourself
Chosen solitude is not a problem. The problem is isolation: the inability to create authentic bonds. It's not by multiplying screen encounters that you find connection, it's by investing in the ones that matter, even if they're fewer.
Action
Spend an evening alone, no app, no digital distraction. Just you. Cook, read, think. How do you feel: lonely or isolated? The difference is revealing.
Murthy, V. (2023). Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation. U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory. | Winter, S. et al. (2025). Problematic ODA use in MSM. Journal of Behavioral Addictions. | MDPI (2025). Impact of Dating Apps on LGBTIQA+ Mental Health.